How can i stop focusing on the negative




















A mind is prone to overreact to negative things relative to positive things; so people can use this to manipulate us, or we can use this to manipulate other people. If we understand this, we can prevent some of the negative effects and improve the quality of our social life.

JS: What was one of the most surprising findings from the research on negativity bias? If he fell short, they really faulted him. RB: If I had to pick one finding, in particular, it would be that people learn more and faster from punishment and reward.

If you have to pick just one, the negative feedback stimulates learning faster than the positive. That was the biggest surprise to me. But the kids learned faster when they were losing marbles than gaining marbles.

There was also a nice field study with teachers, where they were given a bonus if enough of their kids improved or reached grade-level-appropriate scores at the end of the year.

The others were told they would get their bonus at the end of the year if students advanced. The result? Students learn better when the teacher might be punished by having money taken away, instead of rewarded by getting money in the end.

Both are good, but eliminating the negative should get priority. Why would you be a great husband or wife? Become aware of how your thoughts are impacting your emotions and behaviors. Observe your thoughts. Ask yourself if this thought is helpful? What purpose is the thought serving you? How does the thought make you feel? The objective of mindfulness is to gain control of your emotional reactions to situations by allowing the thinking part of your brain to take over.

It's been theorized that the practice of mindfulness may facilitate the ability to use thoughts more adaptively. One study found that people who engaged in a mindfulness practice experienced fewer negative thoughts after exposure to negative imagery, suggesting that mindfulness may lessen the impact of negative thinking.

As you observe your thoughts, work on identifying and labeling cognitive distortions and negativity. For example, if you tend to view yourself as a complete success or failure in every situation, then you are engaging in "black-and-white" thinking. Other negative thinking patterns include:. Unhelpful thinking patterns differ in subtle ways. But they all involve distortions of reality and irrational ways of looking at situations and people. Goldman suggests that this step is all about identifying and labeling negative thoughts.

Just observe it and label it," she suggests. She also suggests pausing to accept the thought for what it is. Remind yourself that it's just a thought and not a fact. There are many different types of cognitive distortions that contribute to negative thinking. Learning more about these distortions and remembering that thoughts are not facts may help lessen the power of these negative thinking patterns.

One of the basic parts of a treatment plan involving cognitive behavioral therapy CBT is cognitive restructuring. This process helps you to identify and change negative thoughts into more helpful and adaptive responses. Whether done in therapy or on your own, cognitive restructuring involves a step-by-step process whereby negative thoughts are identified, evaluated for accuracy, and then replaced.

Goldman suggests examining the evidence that either supports or contradicts the thought. Doing this can help you challenge negative thinking and explore alternatives that are more helpful and realistic. Although it is difficult to think with this new style at first, over time and with practice, positive and rational thoughts will come more naturally. Cognitive restructuring can help you challenge your thoughts by taking you through steps including:.

Johns Hopkins Medicine suggests trying to focus on the positive to help combat the negative thought patterns associated with depression. Ask yourself, is there any good to come out of your current situation?

However, Goldman recommends not replacing negative thoughts with overly positive ones. If the replacement thoughts are not realistic, they won't be helpful. You don't want to set yourself up for failure by replacing the thought with something that may not be realistic. A helpful technique could be to ask yourself what would you say to a friend in this situation.

One study found that a single cognitive restructuring intervention helped people reduce negative thoughts and biases that play a role in contributing to anxiety. Thought stopping is the opposite of mindfulness. It is the act of being on the lookout for negative thoughts and insisting that they be eliminated.

The problem with thought stopping is that the more you try to stop your negative thoughts, the more they will surface. This is known as thought rebounding. Mindfulness is preferable because it gives less weight to your thoughts and reduces the impact they have on you. Creating a thought record is essentially putting your thoughts to the test. Start by asking yourself who, what, where, and when. Describe your moods in one word and then rate the intensity of these moods on a percentage scale that equals Irritation and guilt would then fill up the remaining 20 percent.

The main point of rating them is to see how much of your thoughts were influenced by a specific type of mood — an anxious mood versus a guilty one, for example. This is the most important step in your thought record: List the thoughts and images that popped into your mind relating to that situation. Try to remember what you were thinking at the time.

How is this situation different from past projects? Play out the worst-case scenario and see how you feel about it. Break down your emotions and moods to see if your anxiety or automatic thoughts have any legs to stand on. As you dig into the details, you might discover that this work situation is independent of your past and future.

Identifying your automatic thoughts is the first step in gaining control of your emotions. What are you telling yourself? Now how can you change it? Is there evidence to support this thought? If this evidence is based on the past, why does this apply to this new experience? You want to focus on credible evidence — not feelings or thoughts. Now, you can find an alternative, more balanced thought.

This new thought will consider all of the evidence for and against you and give your wiser mind a shot at running the show. Reminder: Everything can be broken down into smaller, more manageable tasks. Find a place where you can pause and check-in with your thoughts to see where in the process you may be able to give yourself a break.

It also means you may not have to force yourself to operate at percent all the time. Understanding your anxiety and what it means is one of the first steps to managing the stress that comes with it. If you want something out of life you need to get out and get it.

Tell yourself you are strong, says Dennis. Practise saying positive things about yourself over and over and over. In the morning, wake up and say something positive.

Have that be your very first thought of the day. Even if you don't believe it, or if it's a harried Monday morning and you've woken up late for work, starting your day off with a positive affirmation will help set up your day on a good note. This one may seem pretty obvious, but it's one that many people overlook. If you think positively, positive things will happen.

Alternatively, if you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, don't be surprised when negative things happen. It takes a tremendous amount of work to change our thinking to a positive frame of mind, but it's worth all the effort, she says. It's that simple. Look at what's upsetting you, fix it and move on. If it's already happened, you unfortunately can't go back and change it, so dwelling on it and lamenting about what could or should have been is a waste of time and energy and just makes you feel worse about yourself.



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